Imagine you’re a kid, and it’s a Saturday morning in the fall of 1970. You’ve just scarfed down a breakfast of Frosted Flakes, two powdered-sugar Donut Gems and a glass of Hawaiian Punch. Now you plant yourself in front of the 15-inch Quasar and let the sugar binge continue with four non-stop hours of your favorite cartoons.
This year, it’s bandmania on the tube: The Archies, The Banana Splits, The Cattanooga Cats, The Bugaloos, The Hardy Boys, Josie and the Pussycats. Even the chimps on Lancelot Link have a combo, the Evolution Revolution. Add to these The Monkees (now in its second run in syndication) plus animated versions of The Jackson 5 and The Osmonds, and your rec room is bursting with an entire cathode nebula of bands that are made for TV.
How did it all begin? The Monkees were the big bang. The story goes that after the rise and fall of Hollywood’s answer to the Beatles (things went south when the group started to have their own opinions), TV producers figured their Svengali-like manipulations would be far easier if they were dealing with cartoon characters, puppets, or at least actors who were verbally imprisoned in large furry costumes.
The formula for fakeband-icism was further refined until it became an exact science: Take a group of four colorful characters, add wacky adventures, zany humor, a secret clubhouse, the ability to solve crimes and lots of head-bobbing tunes, and—“Hold the bus!”—you’ve got a hit. And boy, did the hits come—these “bands” became unlikely cash cows for their respective record labels.
Though the golden era of this phenomenon was 1966-1976, there’s a rich history that stretches from Ricky Nelson singing on The Ozzie & Harriet Show in the late ’50s through Menudo in the ’80s right up to American Idol. In fact, these are the shows that established the blueprint for today’s ratings monsters such as Idol. Simon Cowell’s snarkiness wouldn’t have a home if it wasn’t for a nice boy like Davy Jones.
So let us borrow your remote, and we’ll tour the strange and wonderful world of made-for-TV bands.

For more, get the latest Issue of Performing Songwriter, ISSUE No. 95